I think there’s an old adage that goes, “Behind every good fisherman is an understanding woman.”
Now, I don’t necessarily qualify as a good angler, but I am an avid fisherman. I’m very grateful that my wife understands so well the passion I have for my hobby (see rule #1 later in the article). Therefore, I have learned a few things over the past 40 plus years. If you’re one of those guys who needs to get out at least once a week, there are some things you need to know. These tips will ensure (or at least give you a chance to win) some quality fishing time. Here are some hard and fast strategies and rules.
- You should constantly praise your wife for her gracious attitude in allowing you to go fishing. It doesn’t have to be entirely true, but it’s a good tactic.
- When you ask to go, make sure it’s when you’re sweating profusely pouring concrete (or any other tough task related to his pet projects around the house).
- Ask while you’re eating at Red Lobster and on your third libation.
- Always ask; never put your intentions in the form of a statement.
- Another good ploy is to call her after you’ve already left and come a long way and tell her again how much you appreciate being able to go. If you call later in the day to say “I love you” (between throws), you’ve just increased your chances for another day.
- Buy expensive gear (boat) so you have a legitimate reason to go fishing and a way to shame him into letting you go.
- If you’re planning a long out-of-state fishing trip, start earning brownie points at least a year in advance.
- If your wife is naive when it comes to the art of fishing and you arrive late, just tell her the pond had lights (this might also work for you golfers).
There are a few other things that might help you in your athletic endeavors. Be prepared to pay dearly in yard work for the fishing time given to you. The normal ratio is approximately one day of work for every hour of fishing allowed. Also, if the fishing is particularly hot and your chances of getting clearance seem slim, just continue to the lake and crawl like a dog for forgiveness on your return.
Plus, here are a few things that definitely prove you wear the pants in your family when it comes to fishing:
- You tell your spouse that you are going fishing the night of your child’s high school graduation.
- You give your lifelong partner a fishing trip to Lake Okeechobee as a birthday present and proudly announce that it’s going to be an annual tradition.
- You buy a new boat and it quickly takes the place of the family car in the garage.
- You decide to buy a new car and tell your loved one that the main requirements of the new vehicle are that your six and a half foot bass rods should fit comfortably inside and the engine should be big enough to tow your boat.
- You demand that your trophies won in bass tournaments and all the fish you have ridden are now displayed in a place of honor. Preferably in the formal dining room.
- You make sure your boat payment is greater than your house payment so the family has a clear idea of priorities.
- You independently decide to add a room to the house to store your fishing gear and it is bigger than your living room.
- On your own initiative, you fill the tank with fish to see how they react to different bait presentations.
- You come back from a fishing trip, throw your catch in the sink and clean it up in the kitchen.
- You feel an irresistible urge to go fishing and leave your spouse a note that says, “Gone fishing, come back Monday.”
In conclusion, let me give you a few more ideas to consider. Never, ever come back from a late night fishing trip in your Sunday moccasins and second, if it’s still too easy to get permission to go fishing, maybe you’d better stay home.
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